Celebrating Two Years of Marriage!

Since January, Matt and I had been planning our two-year anniversary trip to Destin, FL and the first week in June we got to go! I was so unbelievably excited. Destin has always had a special place in my heart because my grandparents had a place there when we were kids that they had to sell about 10 years ago. I hadn’t been back since then, and so I was very eager to show Matt around the old stomping grounds and make new memories with him there!
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I’ve always loved the white sandy beaches of Destin and the beautiful blue green water. There’s nothing more relaxing than laying on the beach listening to the waves.

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The condo we found was AWESOME. It was a one bedroom, one bath condo within walking distance of the beach and it was so cute and cozy on the inside! I’d highly recommend this condo to anyone who wants to go visit there. If you want the details of it and how to book it, I’d be happy to get it for you. The owners were fabulous to work with and the condo was immaculate.

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This king sized bed was insanely comfortable. Nuff said.

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Our first day on the beach was perfect. The waves were a good size and the weather was beautiful. Our condo even had beach chairs and an umbrella for us to use so we got to take breaks from the sun when my pasty white skin couldn’t handle it anymore.

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I took my Dove chocolate very seriously on this trip. I couldn’t have agreed more with this sentiment. I believe it was 100% accurate.

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Matt doesn’t eat seafood, but I told him it was a priority for me to get some fresh seafood while we were at the beach. He did not disappoint. We went to The Crab Trap our first night and I got coconut shrimp. It was DELICIOUS.

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We also have a tradition of ALWAYS getting donuts while we are on vacation.¬†Okay, maybe that’s just MY tradition. I don’t think Matt would care if we forgot. But when I saw that Krispy Kreme Hot Now sign on, I literally gasped and made Matt turn the car around. Yes, it’s that important, people.

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Look, I’m all about being healthy, and I know donuts have ZERO nutritional value, but seriously, has there ever been a more beautiful sight? Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and embrace the sugar. Mmmm…..

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Seriously it made my night. And of course we bought extra for breakfast the next day!

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Speaking of the next day, and for irony’s sake, I actually took Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred with me on vacation and I actually DID it! After my donuts of course ūüôā I was so proud of myself. Granted, I had planned to do it every day of vacation and I ended up only doing it once, but hey, that’s better than I can usually say.

The next day we went to the beach again, but unfortunately there was a double red flag so there was no getting in the water for us. BUT, that night we were so excited to get to meet up with our friends, Cosbie and Caitlin! They were in town with her family for vacation about 20 minutes from us, so we decided to make a double date night out of it and do something that we normally don’t even find time to do at home!

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After two attempts, this was still as good as it was going to get. Poor picture quality, for the win.

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After dinner we decided to go putt putt. I love talking smack with Matt when it comes to any kind of competition, even though there is a 99.4% guarantee he will ALWAYS beat me when it comes to anything competitive.

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Caitlin and I had a strange fascination with these fish. We seriously stood there and watched them longer than any kids that passed by.

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What is a date night without dessert? What is vacation without dessert EVERY NIGHT is the better question. After putt putt we hit up this awesome frozen custard stand. I could eat frozen custard over frozen yogurt, ice cream, or sorbet any day. It’s THAT good.

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And to further prove my point that dessert is always worth it on vacation, I opened up my sweet little Dove chocolate to this blessed reassurance.

On our last full day, we decided to go pier fishing. We wanted to go deep sea fishing on this trip but decided it really wasn’t the most cost efficient this time around. So we drove over to the pier and rented some poles, bought some squid (gross) and went to town. Matt has more experience fishing than I do, but if we’re being honest, we’re both completely lost when it comes to this skill.

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We had a lot of fun trying to pretend like we knew what we were doing and trying not to be jealous of the other people who were constantly catching fish while we just waited. And waited. And waited.

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While we were waiting we did get to see a few dolphins swimming around though!

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Every time I see a picture of myself with my hand on my hip I feel like I need to apologize. I wonder if/when this fad will no longer be the standard pose for every girl under the age of 30. I’m all about the skinny arm, but I believe we can all agree that this pose has gotten a little out of control.

ANYWAY, that night we decided to lay low, grab a $5 hot-n-ready pizza and have a game night. Remember how I said Matt beats me in anything competitive 99.4% of the time?? Well this is where the .6% came working in my favor! Literally, I beat him at every game we played that night. One round of Monopoly Deal and six games of Sequence. It was beautiful.

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In his defense, he did finally beat me one time. But overall, my Dove chocolate didn’t lie again.

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The next morning we had to pack up and head back home. But before we left, we drove around and found the exact place of my grandparent’s park that their trailer was in. We didn’t even realize it, but the condo we were staying in was .4 of a mile from theirs. I was so so so excited that we found it.

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I know that this was the exact location because that tree right there was planted by my parents and I remember it being MUCH smaller. Now after 20 years or so you can see how much it has grown.

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There are so many memories in that park right there. What I wouldn’t give to be able to re-live those days with my family, grandparents, and brothers.

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We decided to go for one more walk on the beach before we left. It was an amazing trip. Just what we needed after Matt’s crazy school year. I am so thankful that we got to celebrate being married two years in a place that has meant so much to me over the years.

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It blows my mind that we’ve been married for two years. I know that that is nothing compared to so many who have gone before us, but they really aren’t kidding when they say it flies by. Being married to your best friend is God’s greatest gift this side of heaven and I can’t imagine going through life without Matt. He has been the most amazing husband and I thank God for him every day. We have had ups and downs of course, but through it all, Jesus is our Rock and the foundation that we remain grounded in. I’m so excited to see what the Lord has in store for us in the future and I am so grateful that He has allowed us to take this journey together!

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart! I love you.

The Beauty of Submission

SUBMIT, WOMAN!

Have you ever heard those words? Either meant seriously or in a joking manner? Probably every woman on the face of the planet has in the very least been acquainted with the idea of submission. In America especially, submission is VERY unpopular word. The concept makes many cringe at the thought. It seems outdated and male chauvinistic. BUT, please bear with me. I promise by the end of this post you’ll have a different perspective with which to think about submission. And you might just like it!

First, we have to ask: When did submission first come into play?

Some believe at creation, others believe it is a consequence of the Fall of Man, and others might believe that it came much later. But I’d challenge you to look at Scripture with me a little bit closer. Let’s collectively zoom into Genesis chapter 1 verse 1: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Stop. In the beginning, GOD. Now, lets move over to verse 26 of the same chapter: “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness…” Do you see that? God said, ‘Let US, OUR.” Meaning none other than the Trinity. God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ) and the Holy Spirit. It is in THIS relationship that we FIRST see submission. Jesus submitted to the Father’s will when He willing gave up the treasures of heaven to come to earth to die on the cross for our sins. Before he faced the cross, He prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39). He didn’t want to face the cross, but Jesus recognized that the outcome of His death would make a way for mankind to be reconciled to God, bringing His Father glory.

Let this be clear: Submission is NOT a result of the Fall. Before the entrance of sin, God put Adam in the garden of Eden to ‘cultivate it and keep it.’ (Gen. 1:15) After this, the Lord said ‘it is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him’ (1:18). Did you catch that? Role responsibilities before Eve was even created! Before sin ever entered the picture! Man was to cultivate the land and keep it (work, provide, protect) and Eve was to be his helper (help-mate, come along-side to help accomplish his God-given tasks, submit to his leadership).

Okay, that was a long intro, but I promise it was necessary to have a proper understanding of the submission concept!

Ask yourself:

How do YOU view submission? Has this changed over the years or since you got married? Is it harder or easier? For me personally, I believe submission to be necessary, right, and true but even more HARD. Submission is hard! But we practice submission every day in all kinds of various relationships:

  • employer/employee
  • government/citizen
  • parents/children
  • husbands/wives
  • God/creation

Yet which one do we fight the MOST? Husband and wife. We have to remember that husbands and wives are completely EQUAL in value and importance, we just have different role responsibilities. Genesis 1:27 says, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” We are NOT in any way talking about a difference in value. God’s Word is exceptionally clear that men and women are created equally in His image. But just like a manager and an employee of a company are both vital to that company, they have to operate different roles and tasks in order for the company to run as smoothly as possible. Ephesians 5:22-23 reveals to us that God’s ultimate intention for headship and submission in marriage is to reflect the relationship of Christ and the church. “The husband is to mirror the sacrificial love of Christ by laying down his life for his wife, and the wife is to exemplify the church’s joyful submission to Christ by following her husband’s leadership” (138). God designed submission for His glory. When we recognize that, we experience far more blessings than if we are to continuously fight it.

So WHY do we fight submission? What in us makes submission so hard? Well, after the Fall, there were consequences. Right? Right. Genesis 3:16 lays out the woman’s specific consequences for her sin, “…Yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”¬†Mahaney puts it this way,

“The form and context of the word¬†desire actually has a negative connotation–an urge to manipulate, control, or have mastery over. Because of the curse, we now have a sinful tendency to want our own way and to resist our husband’s authority” (140).

So in reality, the submissive wife, who is portrayed as weak-willed in our culture, is actually a model of inner strength. By God’s grace, she has conquered this opposition within her own heart. “It is actually weakness on display when a wife is not submissive; she is only caving in to her natural inclination to usurp authority and demand her own way. That doesn’t take any effort at all” (140).

I think the reason we buck up against submission is not because we don’t agree with the command, but rather because it is HARD. We would rather be lazy.

We have to get out of our lazy-rutt and act in obedience to God no matter how much we might not initially want to. It is the only way our marriages will perform as God intended them to.

Ask yourself: 

Do I make it difficult for my husband to lead? [Think about your attitude, countenance, sarcasm, leading yourself or trying to lead him, shooting down his ideas, brushing off his requests, etc.]

When I was a teenager, a friend of mine was telling me about how his mom was constantly complaining about how her husband didn’t step up and lead the family enough. His response was, “Well if you want him to step up, you have to step down and let him!” That has resonated with me ever since. Oftentimes as women (and women who have a more outgoing personality or tendency to lead especially) we like to take the reigns and run with them. But then we find ourselves wishing our husbands did more. But in reality, we have to check ourselves and see if we are actually the ones who need to step down in order for our husbands to step up. There’s not room for two in the pilot seat.

Also, we cannot blame our husbands for our lack of submission. Just like we wouldn’t want them to blame us for their lack of leadership. We each have responsibilities and we need to take care of the ones directed towards us. Remember, Titus 2:3-5 says, “…being submission to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” [emphasis mine]. As married women, we are not to submit to ALL men, but rather to our OWN husbands. One man. ONE MAN, ladies! We can do this!

As a disclaimer, I must add: There are no excuses to this mandate (see 1 Peter 3:1-6) but there are exceptions. We should NEVER follow our husband’s leadership into sin. God’s authority trumps theirs, so if your husband ever tries to lead you down a path that would dishonor God and go against His Word,¬†do not submit. Seek counsel and help from a trusted outside source.

The bottom line is this: Do you trust God enough to lead your husband to lead you?

Susan Hunt puts it rather beautifully in her book, The True Woman:

“The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God’s covenant promise to be her God and to live within her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God.”

Remember ladies, Jesus is the embodiment of pure submission. Let’s emulate Him in our marriages to our husbands so that we, too, may glorify God in our obedience to the Father.¬†This is true feminine appeal that draws a watching world to the gospel of Christ.

The Honor of Working at Home

Well….hello.

I feel like I need to introduce myself to my readers again because I’ve been gone for so long. With all the craziness of Christmas and a new year, building a house, and being on the job search again, my blog has taken the backseat, totally unintentionally. I honestly didn’t realize it had been so long since I had updated and for that, I apologize! So, without further ado, let me finish my summaries of Feminine Appeal for those of you who have been following along. Our Wednesday night group just finished last Wednesday, so I’m not too terribly behind, right? Ha, right.

Chapter 6 is titled, “The Honor of Working at Home,” which could quite possibly be a source of debate among some of you. So let me preface this by saying, there is no biblical mandate that says the wife and mother is sinning if she does not work at home. Absolutely not! There are definitely circumstances that do not allow that to happen, and people who would prefer to have a career outside the home. This is not intended to induce guilt by any stretch of the mind, so please don’t think this is some legalistic virtue that binds women to ONLY household duties and mothering. It is merely an encouragement to priorities these roles over other things and for us to realize the great honor that comes with it.

Titus 2:3-5 says,

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

Let’s all start on the same page here. Obviously, we are living in a post-feminism movement society. So let’s ask ourselves:

  • In what ways have we been influenced by the toxic feminist air that we have been breathing for the last several decades?

The media feeds us constant lies that being a wife and a mother is¬†less honorable than having a career.¬†Mahaney states, “Feminism has failed to deliver as advertised. Yet feminism philosophy has become thoroughly integrated into the values of mainstream society–so much so, that it has been absorbed and applied by the majority of women, even many who do not consider themselves feminist. Ask yourself: “Have I been seduced?”¬†For me, having a career seems¬†more¬†glamourous sometimes–especially in my 20’s. It seems glamourous to have a nice paycheck, be able to buy nice clothes, travel for work, and to meet all kinds of people in all walks of life; to not be “tied down” at home.

  • But how does Scripture convince us to think differently about “working at home?”

1 Timothy 5:14 counsels the younger widows to marry, bear children, and manage their households.

Proverbs 31 we have the ideal wife and mother who’s sphere of work centered around the¬†home.

1 Timothy 5:8 clearly states that men are responsible to be the providers for the home while women are responsible to be the caretakers of the home.

However the KEY is this:

“Scripture provides examples of godly women who worked in other settings and earned extra income, but never to the neglect of their families and homes” (104).

Working at home should be a constant and ongoing priority in our lives. Seasons of our lives will change and working outside the home will not compromise our work in the home. Especially before children and after they have left the house. However, whenever we contemplate opportunities outside of the home, we must first consider what consequences they might have on our families. That includes our motives for working outside the home. Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What are my reasons for considering this opportunity? Are they selfish or God-honoring?
  2. Will pursuing this venture glorify God and honor the gospel?
  3. Is this an undertaking that will help my husband?
  4. Will it enhance and enrich the lives of my family?
  5. Does this endeavor hinder my role as caretaker of my home?

Let us remember, though, Scripture doesn’t say that wives and mothers are sinning if they work outside the home. Let that be clear! There will be some women in circumstances that do not allow them the choice. However, our PRIORITY should always be to our husband, children, and home first.

In all of this, we must know where our ability to do this comes from. Psalm 28:7 says, “The LORD is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts and I am helped.” God is the One who has called you to be a homemaker, and He will supply all the strength you need as you look to Him (107).

Scripture has provided a job description for us as managers of our homes, and it is surprisingly simple: We are to be our husband’s helper. (Genesis 1:26-31, 2:7-25, 1 Cor. 11:8-9) We can easily determine what we should do and how we should do it by asking ourselves: “What will most help my husband?” As Douglas Wilson puts it, “The man needs THE help, the woman needs TO help” (109). That is our God given role and God-equipped nature.

  • How is your attitude at home while you are “homemaking?” Would your husband and family describe you as happy?

REMEMBER: Proverbs 31:13 says “she works with her hands in delight!”

The tasks have to get done, you might as well make them fun!

The goal of all of this is so our homes can actually be a showcase for the gospel. In God’s economy, homemaking is a high and noble calling!

Our homes should be our families’ safe haven. It is our responsibility to make that happen.

HOMEWORK:

  1. Ask your husband what you can do that will be MOST helpful to him this week.
  2. What is one new skill of homemaking you’d like to acquire?
  3. Keep this as a constant issue of prayer in every season of your life.